Queer Orphanage | Chapter 1

“One, two, three…hey, where did Henry go?” Kasia asked, trying to make a head count of the kids that were running around at her feet. “Stop running! Will you guys sit still for one minute so that I can count?”

Nobody paid her any attention, of course.

“Ten, eleven, twelve. Well, all are present.” That was one day’s roll call done. The teenage girl made her way, skipping, to her bed, which was made up of a pile of red and orange cushions sitting comfortably next to a bureau with a high-back executive chair, the chair being in the color of navy blue. Kasia ignored the office setting next to her nest, and plopped down on her cushions. She hugged one of the many pillows to her chest, curling up in a fetus position. Just as she was about to close her eyes and welcome herself into a world that only existed in her imagination and her old notebooks, she felt a heavy thud of something landing on her.

“Oof!” Kasia sat up and picked up the four-year-old that was attempting to occupy her bed. “No! This is my space. Go play with the other kids, Shira!” She put the little girl on the floor, but Shira showed no signs of obeying. Instead, together with the other orphans in this strange orphanage, she crawled back onto Kasia and her bed, making the supposedly cozy nest cramped and uncomfortable—for any of them, or so Kasia thought.

With a sigh, Kasia lay back down in surrender. This was an everyday routine anyway.

Chapter 2 →

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Queer Orphanage | Chapter 2

Jayden was a busy man, that much she knew. And although he spent most of the day away, he owned the respect of those who lived there as much as he owned the house itself. While Kasia knew he was busy, she never asked “with what”; while sometimes, Jayden was away even at night, she never asked where he’d been. In fact, she rarely asked anything at all, if only because of the distanced look he constantly wore that consequently drove her into silence.

“I’m back.” The sound of keys came from the front door, along with a familiar, tired voice.

The kids scrambled off Kasia’s cushions, while Kasia herself helped that process by flipping all of them onto the floor in order to make way, so that she could sprint to the door. “Welcome back!” she greeted with a wide smile.

“How is everyone?” Jayden asked as he loosened his tie. “How are you?” he asked Kasia in particular.

“Everyone is fine,” Kasia answered for the kids, who were too busy trying to organize themselves back in their own seats to respond. As they spent the whole day on Kasia’s bed, they sometimes forgot where they really should have been. “And I’m kind of tired, but I’m fine too. How are you?”

Together, the two made way to the same side of the room. This time, Kasia knew she would have her cushions all to herself, knowing that the kids avoided Jayden’s desk like the plaque. Even though they all loved the man himself, his presence alone made them discipline themselves. On his way, he patted the head of one of the little girls. She beamed innocently at him. That was the most well-behaved child (applicable only in Jayden’s presence). “Tired,” he said in response to Kasia.

“I saw you in my dreams last night,” she told him, lifting her chin to meet his gaze properly.

“I hope it was a good dream,” he said, sitting down to listen to her.

She nodded with a bright smile. “We were standing on two sides of the same bridge in London. The fog prevented me from seeing you clearly, but I knew that was you. There were some…red and green colors just floating around.” The last bit of information was given in an uncertain tone. “I think they were just floating around.” She wasn’t quite sure how.

“That’s good, I think,” Jayden said. “That means we’re getting along.” Then, he turned his chair to face the desk, signifying the end of conversation. Taking that as a cue, Kasia turned as well, facing the kids that were magically sitting upright in their space, quietly playing with one another. She hugged a cushion.

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An excerpt from Kasia’s old notebooks →

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Queer Orphanage | An excerpt from Kasia’s old notebooks

I’d probably forgotten everything. I’d forgotten why we were where we were, I’d forgotten the nature of our friendship, why I was different from the others. Actually, did I even know?

But I knew very well why he was special. Or so I thought, but looking back now, I don’t think I knew that either, not well enough.

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Chapter 3 →

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Queer Orphanage | Chapter 3

One day, Jayden took a day off. Leaving the orphans in the care of a nanny whom Kasia was sure would regret her decision as soon as Jayden closed the door, the two made their way to a mountain. As if by instinct, Kasia leaned over the railing.

“I’m getting a weird flashback,” Kasia said, looking over the valley. “Were we ever standing in this exact spot with someone?”

“Yeah. With your sister.”

“I wonder why I can’t recall the exact memory.”

“Let’s jump and see what happens,” Kasia suggested.

“What happens is we die. You know we’re on top of a mountain, right?”

“Why do you want to jump?” Jayden asked.

           

“Jayden, look!” She pointed over the railing, at somewhere down in the valley below. “A walking skeleton from that cave. Do you see it?”

Jayden looked where she had pointed. He chuckled. “No, I don’t see it. You’re being overexcited.” It was good to be that happy, though.

“Hmmm, that’s too bad. I think it’s pretty cool.”

“Maybe you’ve been in the house for far too long and you’re hallucinating.”

“No way.” She glanced over the scenery before her. “I wonder if there’s a dragon there.” Saying so, Kasia turned her gaze to Jayden.

“You’re looking at him,” he replied.

← An excerpt from Kasia’s old notebooks

Chapter 4 →

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Queer Orphanage | Chapter 4

Days and nights flashed by. Kasia began receiving texts from someone that wasn’t on her contact list.

// I’ll burn down that little house if you don’t leave it. –Y.S. //

She decided to ignore it. She decided not to tell Jayden about it.

Little did she know, Jayden also received texts from someone with the same initials.

// She is toxic. Don’t you know? –Y.S. //

He also decided not to speak of it.

“Hey, kids,” Kasia said to the children one day, while Jayden was away. “Do you think I should leave this house?”

“Why?” Henry asked, rolling on the floor for no particular reason. “Are you bored?”

“Why? Why?” little Shira repeated after Henry. “Is Jayden bad?”

“No.” That answered both questions.

// Just get out. This is no place for you. –Y.S. //

// There is everything wrong about her. You know it. –Y.S. //

Unlike Kasia, Jayden spoke not a word about these texts, even to the kids. Behind closed doors, he tried to track down who it was. Yet, however many possibilities he’d tried, “Y.S.” was determined to stay hidden.

// Jayden Miller doesn’t trust you. He cares for no one. –Y.S. //

While it seemed to make sense at first sight, Kasia couldn’t help but notice that the two lines were actually unrelated.

// Are you sure this is the right thing to do, tolerating her nonsense? –Y.S. //

What? It is you that’s speaking nonsense.

With time, Kasia began to wonder why Jayden spoke even less than usual. Was there a reason for him to distance himself even more? At the same time, Jayden wondered if Kasia was hiding anything from him. No, he was almost certain that she was keeping something from him. Yet, he failed to understand her silence, and it was only then that he started to take the texts from Y.S. seriously. Meanwhile, also failing to understand his distance, Kasia made a decision.

← Chapter 3

An excerpt from Kasia’s old notebooks →

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